Local Man Is New US Yoga Champion


A Dickinson man has been named the new Yoga Champion of the United States, after his remarkable performance in the recent US Yoga Society Championships.
Richard Rhea, a  retired former porn star who bakes cakes in his spare time, does not seem impressed by his unexpected victory.
“The idea of Yoga is to be the most serene,” he said,  “You can’t really win the championship by wanting to win. You have to win by not caring whether you win or not, and that is how I won. I didn‘t care, and I still don‘t give a damn.”
Rhea unseated Donald Fewell of Fort Payne, Alabama. Fewell had been champion since 2011, although he only became aware of the competition last year. Fewell told reporters that he would request a rematch.
“He isn’t more serene than me! I am still the most serene, and next time out, I’m going to kick his ass!” Fewell angrily tweeted to his twats on Twitter.

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