Category Archives: Local

Using the newest kind of scientific profiling methods, agents with the FBI in Washington told local police and family last month that a Galveston child missing for over ten years is most likely now working as a prostitute.
The bureau also released a picture created by the bureau’s new age-progression technology department, depicting what the 19 year-old Tiffany Goatler might look like today.

It was ten years ago in August when police theorize that a carnival worker swiped the nine-year-old from a baby carriage at the 2003 Angleton World’s Fair & Hog Calling Championship. The child’s parents (who have since divorced, remarried others, then divorced again, and are now making plans to remarry and divorce each other) left the stroller parked nearby while they rode the Ferris wheel. When the ride was over, the child was gone.
The mother, 28 year-old Dedra Wampole, immediately notified a security guard. Through a misunderstanding, Dedra was briefly detained and strip-searched by several security guards.
Meanwhile her then-husband, 44 year-old Chuck Wampole, had no idea where his wife and child had gone, and rushed home to print flyers on his MacIntosh computer.
The next day, authorities in Angleton released Mrs. Wampole and the parents sprang into action. Tiffany was listed by local police as a suspected runaway, and her room was rented out. Everyone expected the case would soon be solved. But investigators had few clues, and the case went cold.
Early this year, a new cold case detective was hired by the Angleton Police, Lt. Gordy McGuiness. He reopened the investigation and took forensic samples from all of the residents of Angleton, hoping that DNA would help track down the victim.
The list of suspects started in the thousands, but has since been narrowed down to several hundred.
The Angleton Police Department requested help from FBI Forensic Proctologist Bernard Wiggins Jr., who last month announced his findings. Wiggins says that his scientific analysis indicates that Tiffany is probably still alive, and is employed in an urban setting as a prostitute, and likely to be addicted to crack or crystal meth.
Police hope the sketch of how she might look today will generate leads that can help them solve the mysterious case.

It’s been seven years since the greatest white-collar criminal in the history of the United States was reported to have died. Ken Lay , the son of a preacher man, reportedly died of a “massive heart attack” and was cremated without any public viewing in a tiny Colorado town.
The death came at a good time, reminiscent of the classic “Death As A Career Move” dime novel.
On the following Monday, Lay was about to forfeit $45 million to the Federal Government.
He had been convicted and was about to be sentenced to 40 years in Federal prison.

But Ken Lay is not dead. He is alive, and presumably well, though he keeps a low profile these days. He is most likely living the good life in tropical Indonesia, a nation containing thousands of tiny islands on which a corrupt government has provided safe havens to many wealthy criminals and fugitive financiers since the end of WW2. The “disappearing” of Ken Lay was handled very smoothly by everyone involved – but there are always loose ends.
After his conviction, Ken Lay had only a few available options:
1. Do his time and die in prison. Out of the question for a man who never admitted any guilt.
2. Turn on the Bush administration and cut a deal to tell what he knew. Lay knew this wasn’t feasible, because a few months earlier, someone Lay was very familiar with had been sworn in as US Attorney General, Alberto Gonzales. Lay knew Gonzales was never going to let the Justice Department go after anyone in the Bush administration. Not even a remote option.
3. Flee the country. Certainly this was considered. Billionaire Marc Rich did it, and came home with a Presidential pardon from President Clinton. But this plan was distasteful to Lay because fleeing would be an admission of guilt. Lay never admitted any wrongdoing, and never expressed remorse. In true sociopathic fashion, he saw himself as a victim – even when he was caught in the act. He justified all of his own actions, using his all-forgiving God as a safety net. Becoming an international fugitive would negate everything Lay was. This option was a distant second best.
4. Suicide. If you had $30 million bucks, would you kill yourself? He wasn’t even old enough to get Social Security yet. Besides, that too would be an admission of guilt and a renunciation of his faith. Christians who kill themselves go to hell. Everyone knows that. For some people this would have been a genuine option. For Ken Lay, it was never even considered.
5. Fake his own death. Because Lay hadn’t been sentenced yet, his “demise” would result in the whole case against him being vacated – thus no conviction. The entire estate would then pass to his wife, Linda. Enron creditors would not be able to touch a penny of it. Instead of being hated, Lay would be put to rest with ministers and politicians mourning him. True, he would have to stay out of sight – but it can be done – especially with the kind of help and money Ken Lay had.
Imagine you’re Ken Lay, and look back at the five options. Nothing works but #5…
So it was that Ken Lay “died” in a small Colorado community in the middle of the night, in a rented house, and was cremated within hours, after a hurried autopsy by Dr. Robert Kurtzman, a Medical Examiner from Mesa County. That is not the county Lay died in. He died in Pitkin County, where the Chief Medical Examiner was Dr. Steve Ayers. Although it was his job to do so, Dr. Ayres never even saw the corpse. Kurtzman handled the entire matter, and set a record in the process. He declared Lay dead, autopsied him, concluded that the death was due to heart disease, then turned the body over to the funeral home for immediate and private cremation, and all of this happened on the same day! This was the fastest death to autopsy to cremation in the history of Colorado. Incidentally, it is unheard of for a Medical Examiner to make a ruling outside of his own jurisdiction, and is not in compliance with the state laws of Colorado.
And that, my friends, is the smoking gun. But first a few qualifications:
Would Ken Lay fake his own death? Why not, didn’t he fake his own life? Didn’t he fake all of the numbers in order to steal hundreds of million of dollars? Didn’t he fake being a decent Christion, and get on TBN with Paul and Jan Crouch (fake tits + big weird hair) and talk about how he was “God’s Man in the Business World” while he was simultaneously (and criminally) destroying and plundering a minimum of 25% of America’s private pensions?
Yes, but would our own government help him? They did in the past. It was President George H. W. Bush who first deregulated electric utilities in the United States, at the urging of his campaign chairman, Ken Lay. This act made Ken Lay. It gave him the green light for the whole fiasco that became Enron. Lay was the largest single contributor to the G W Bush Presidential campaign.
Would Bush lie for Ken Lay? Yes, he had already done so. He claimed in 2002 that he barely knew “Kennyboy” when in actuality Lay had already given Bush a half million dollars, had been his father’s campaign chairman, and had been named to the Bush transition team in 2000.
Would Lay’s wife Linda go along with it? Yes, she too had been caught lying about her husband. She told a national audience on the Today Show that she and Ken were “penniless” and that all their money had been tied up in Enron stock. Not true. The couple had sold most of their shares and purchased variable annuities (exempt from creditors) that pay out a minimum of $100,000 per month for life, after taxes. They transferred real estate to family members as well. At the time she made the statement on TV, she and Ken had unencumbered assets of over $25 million.
More evidence that Lay didn’t die:
Ken Lay was (and probably still is) a very “Christian” man. Now, how often do Christian folks get cremated? Pretty damn seldom! In fact, the practice is not approved by the Methodist Church (Lay’s denomination). The only Christians who are cremated are those who die in poverty. No respectable Methodist is burned. After all, how is Jesus going to resurrect Ken to a life in Glory Land if he’s ashes? Also, the psychology is wrong. Lay became a Christian to avoid being burned up after his demise. So then he’s going to request a dose of hellfire on the way out? I think not.
But there is more. Ken Lay left behind some real estate when he passed away. The smallest parcel was a pair of burial plots he and Linda had purchased, so that they could be buried together. Why did he do this, if he planned to spend eternity in an urn over the fireplace? Ultimately, his ashes were buried, but not in the family plot! Instead, the reputed remains were interred in Colorado.
Even when someone decides to get cremated, the normal thing is to have a public viewing where the family and friends can pay their last respects. It is in fact a requirement of churches that permit cremation. Ken Lay didn’t even have a funeral, just a “memorial service” with no viewing. This is unheard of, especially in the case of a man who was friendly with two US Presidents, many high-ranking government officials, the entire financial world, and titans of industry and religion.
There must be some compelling reason this man’s body was not prepared for a Christian burial in accordance with his faith. This is how we know Ken Lay isn’t dead after all. This is also why the theory that Lay was assassinated or killed himself cannot be true – if he were killed by a CIA Dick Cheney heart-attack machine or died by his own hand, his body would have been seen.
The whole cremation thing is the dead giveaway that Kenneth Lay is still alive.
Even without the help of his powerful friends, Ken Lay had many millions of dollars to throw around. Is it possible? Certainly, since the only two persons who saw Ken Lay after his death who could definitively identify him were his wife and the coroner.
Of course, he had help. There was definitely a body, which probably looked to be about the same age and size as Lay. The corpse may have been a homeless man who died of a real heart attack, or perhaps a murder victim. It was never fingerprinted, once again not in compliance with state law.
Ken Lay was no fool. Everything about him was fictitious. He was a phony businessman and a phony “Christian” and it should be expected that he would also fake his own death. He’ll surely be reading this on the internet, where my columns are very popular. Hi Ken. You’re still guilty and you’re still an asshole and some of us know that you’re still alive.                                      GATOR

A boy says to a girl, “So, sex at my place?” “Yeah!” “Okay, but I sleep in a bunk bed with my younger brother, and he thinks we’re making sandwiches, so we have to have a code. Cheese means faster and tomato means harder, okay?” Later on the girl is yelling, “Cheese, cheese, tomato, tomato!” The younger brother says, “Stop making sandwiches! You’re getting mayo all over my bed!”

One day, there were two boys playing by a stream. One of the young boys saw a bush and went over to it. The other boy couldn’t figure out why his friend was at the bush for so long. The other boy went over to the bush and looked. The two boys were looking at a woman bathing naked in the stream. All of a sudden, the second boy took off running. The first boy couldn’t understand why he ran away, so he took off after his friend. Finally, he caught up to him and asked why he ran away. The boy said to his friend, “My mom told me if I ever saw a naked lady, I would turn to stone, and I felt something getting hard, so I ran.”

A man and woman had been married for 30 years, and in those 30 years, they always left the lights off when having sex. He was embarrassed and scared that he couldn’t please her, so he always used a big dildo on her. All these years she had no clue. One day, she decided to reach over and flip the light switch on and saw that he was using a dildo. She said “I knew it, asshole, explain the dildo!” He said, “Explain the kids!”

A little girl and boy are fighting about the differences between the sexes, and which one is better. Finally, the boy drops his pants and says, “Here’s something I have that you’ll never have!” The little girl is pretty upset by this, since it is clearly true, and runs home crying. A while later, she comes running back with a smile on her face. She drops her pants and says, “My mommy says that with one of these, I can have as many of those as I want!”

An American tourist goes on a trip to China . While in China , he is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time.
A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his “tool” covered with bright green and purple freckles. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor.
The doctor, never having seen anything like it, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days. The man returns a couple of days and the doctor says “I’ve got bad news for you. You’ve contracted Mongolian VD. It’s very rare and almost unheard of here. We know very little about it”.
The man looks a little perplexed and says “Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up doc”. The doctor answers “I’m sorry, there’s no known cure. We’re going to have to amputate your penis.
The man screams in horror “Absolutely not! I want a second opinion”.
The doctor replies “Well, it’s your choice. Go ahead if you want but surgery is your only choice”.
The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he’ll know more about the disease. The Chinese doctor examines his tool and proclaims “Ah yes, Mongolian VD. Very rare disease”.
The guy says to the doctor “Yeah yeah, I already know that but what we can do? My American doctor wants to operate and amputate my penis!”
The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs “Stupid American doctors, always want to operate. They make more money that way. No need to operate!”
“Oh Thank God!” the man replies. “Yes” says the Chinese doctor “You no worry! Wait two weeks. Dick fall off by itself! You save money!”

An 11 year old girl realized that she had started to grow hair between her legs. She got worried and asked her mom about the hair.
Her mom said, “That part where hair has grown is called a monkey, be proud that your monkey has grown hair.”
Next morning at breakfast she told her sister.
“My monkey has grown hair.”
Her sister smiled and said.
“That’s nothing, mine is already eating banana’s.”

A teacher asks her class, “If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?” She calls on little Johnny.
“None, they all fly away with the first gunshot.”
The teacher replies, “The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.”
Then Little Johnny says, “I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?”
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, “Well I suppose the one that’s gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.”
“The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on… but I like your thinking.”

Little Red Riding Hood was on her way to see her grandmother in the forest. Her mother warned her “Don’t walk through the forest, take the path, or else the Big Bad Wolf will catch you and suck your tits dry!” Little Red started towards her grandmother’s house but decided to take the shortcut through the forest anyway.
The turtle stopped Little Red and warned her “Turn back and use the path, because if the Big Bad Wolf finds you, he’ll suck your tits dry!”
Little Red was almost there, so she kept going through the forest.
Sure enough, the Big Bad Wolf jumps out of nowhere and tells her “Take off your shirt Little Red Riding Hood – I’m going to suck your tits dry!!”
“Oh no you don’t”, yells Little Red Riding Hood, as she pulls up her skirt, “You’re going to eat me just like the storybook says!”

So-called Christian Pornography Makes Internet Debut
It was bound to happen sooner or later. So-called “Christian pornography” has appeared on the internet, via websites like the one at www.christianporno.com
A disclaimer on the site explains that there is no Biblical prohibition against pornography, however, Christian pornography should only present sex acts between married couples and only for the purpose of procreation.
The missionary position is preferred.
However, the site does contain a great amount of material documenting sinful types of behavior, such as “Jezebel and her lovers”, “Sodom and Gomorrah” and “David and Bathsheba taking a bath”.
Because these are referenced in the Bible, their depictions are approved for Christian viewing by most clergymen.
“This will be a great resource to God-fearing men everywhere” said Joel Edward Hallinger, a retired Presbyterian janitor who dabbles in amateur sociology. “No more guilt trips for these sexually-repressed insecure guys I call ‘Yuckies’, which stands for Young Urban Christian Know-it-alls.”
Not all evangelicals are comfortable with Christian pornography, however. Some have even associated it with their nemesis, Satan – also called the Prince of Darkness.
“I think the problem is that by allowing this type of behavior, we are legitimizing the kind of exploitation depicted.” according to Pastor Billy Swagger of the Interdenominational House of Pancakes. “Before I can advise my parishioners to visit this site, I will have to examine it carefully, to ensure that nobody else is taking advantage of my sheep.”
The site was founded and is operated by Ken O’Keeno, a former Methbyterian Priest from Frog Pond, Louisiana. O’Keeno considers the site to be his ministry, and only keeps for himself any cash the site generates.

Prisoner Execution at Halftime Show is Big Hit for Cowboys Fans
Marking the Cowboys’ season opener against the Giants in traditional fashion, Dallas fans last month were reportedly treated to a thrilling halftime show that featured the execution of a Texas state prisoner from Death Row.
“That was the best halftime show I’ve seen in years – there was this awesome light show with Toby Keith’s ‘American Ride’ playing while a priest administered the last rites,” said Cowboys fan Bill Maxwell, adding that he especially liked when Cowboys cheerleaders formed the shape of a skull around the stage and performed an elaborate dance routine before the convicted felon was injected with a lethal dose of pentobarbital.
“My favorite part was when he finally went limp and all those fireworks shot up from the top of the stadium. I just wish I were one of those lucky people on the field who got to watch it close-up” Maxwell said.
Delighted fans also told reporters that the halftime execution was far better than any other such event at Texas Stadium, noting that the view of the inmate’s last breath was much better on the venue’s state-of-the-art 72-foot-tall LED jumbotron scoreboard.
The prisoner executed during the football game was 41 year-old Luther Rabble of Pork County. Rabble was convicted of murder for his role in the grisly slaying of 67 year-old ice cream salesman Mickey House. Although Rabble was not the trigger man in the robbery or homicide, he assisted gunman Bug Pence by allowing Pence to bum a cigarette and a light from him in the weeks before the crime.
His last words were reportedly “Oh shit.”

In certain situations, some people are in more danger than others. For example, the guy who shows up at the Gun Show wearing an Obama tee shirt, or the know-it-all Yankee who turns up at redneck barbecue. When the inevitable ass-whoopin occurs, we all sigh and say something like “he shoulda knowed better.”
But, after the past two months of watching shark movies, I have come to the conclusion that there is a serious danger swimming around in the nearby ocean, especially if you are a hot chick wearing a revealing bikini.
Sharks apparently are programmed to attack hot chicks, in particular those who have nice cleavage. Any number of people may be in the water, but the shark will select the hot babe first every time.
There are no shark movies in which the shark opts to attack the overweight girl with acne, the pregnant lady, or someone’s granny. They prefer to go after the sexy chicks.
My advice to hot chicks at the beach is to stay the hell out of the water.
In the absence of a hot chick, sharks usually prefer to eat one of the following:
The resort owner who insists that there is no danger of shark attacks; the brainless football jock; any variety of government official; and of course, the black guy.
I have never seen a shark movie in which the newspaper reporter is eaten by a shark, so I feel pretty safe in the water.
What can you do to reduce the odds of being eaten by a shark?
Here are a few helpful suggestions:
1. Thrash around quite a bit when you’re in the water. This scares away sharks.
2. Swim at night, when the sharks are mostly sleeping in their sea beds.
3. Wear bright colors, as sharks have very sensitive eyesight, and loud color schemes are likely to make them avoid contact.
4. Bring along a few snacks for the sharks. That way, if a shark approaches, you can feed them by hand. They love raw chicken.
5. Swim near children. Any shark who does decide to attack will go after the kid first.
If you are accosted by a shark while you are in the water, stand your ground. You are an American citizen, and as such, deserving of respect by all creatures. You have as much right to be in the water as he does. Do not show any fear, as sharks are able to sense fear.
In the event you are actually attacked by a shark, they can be easily killed and blown to bits by simply cramming a propane tank down their throats, then shooting the tank with a rifle, causing it to detonate. Of course, it is a pain in the ass to carry a rifle and a propane tank in swimming, but this seems to be the safest way to defend yourself.
Shark attacks are on the increase. The shark population has increased dramatically during the past few years, as laws protecting sharks have been passed. These laws, promoted by well-meaning “shark huggers” have made many kinds of shark hunting illegal. This has resulted in an enormous growth in the number of sharks in our local waters.
The economic crisis has driven many of these sharks to seek alternative food sources, and some of them have turned to humans. Shark attacks along the Texas coast this year have set new records, with hundreds of incidents ranging from minor bites to decapitation, which is nearly always fatal. The numbers are probably lower than they should be, since most shark attacks are not reported by victims. Often, victims of shark attacks wrongly feel guilt, believing that the attack may have been partly their fault. For whatever reason, a large number of attacks are never reported.
The City of Galveston has taken some steps to reduce the number of such attacks. A couple of months ago, they instituted paid parking along the Seawall, under the theory that fewer people at the beach would mean fewer shark attacks. So far, the plan seems to be working, with beaches mostly deserted since the plan went into effect, and less than 50 attacks.
Do not think that staying out of the water makes you safe. Based on my own research, tornadoes can apparently suck sharks up, carry them many miles inland, then drop them, where they have often been known to attack humans and livestock on dry land.

A 2nd grade teacher decides to teach sex ed. to her class. She starts out by drawing a penis on the chalk board and asks the class, “Does anyone know what this is?”
And little Johnny says, “Yes, my dad has 2 of them!”
And the teacher says, “Are you sure about that?”
And little Johnny says, “Yes, he uses a small skinny one to go to the bathroom, and a big long one to brush the babysitter’s teeth.”

A teacher asks her class, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”
Little Johnny says “I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day”.
The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson.
“And you, Susie? ” the teacher asks.
Susie says “I wanna be Johnny’s bitch.”

Cinderella wanted to go to the ball one night, but she didn’t have any tampons to use and she was on the rag. Her Fairy Godmother came to the rescue and turned a pumpkin next to Cinderella’s house into a tampon. The Godmother says, “Now use the tampon, but be sure to get back home before midnight or it will turn back into a pumpkin, and that wouldn’t be good.” Cinderella agrees and leaves the house.
Midnight comes along…no Cinderella, 1am, 2am and 3am, still no Cinderella!
Finally, 5am rolls by and Cinderella waltzes through the door and the fairy godmother jumps up. “Where the hell have you been?!?” To which Cinderella replies, “I met this amazing guy, and well, before I knew it, we fell madly in bed together. His name was Peter Peter…..”

A man and his wife got into bed for the night. The wife had curled up ready for sleep and the husband put his bed lamp on to read a book. As he was reading, he stopped and reached over to his wife and started fondling her pussy.
He did this only for a very short while then stopped and went back to reading his book.
The wife got up and started stripping in front of him.
The husband was confused and asked, “What the hell are doing, taking all your jammies off?” The wife replied, “You were playing with my pussy. I thought it was foreplay.”
The husband said, “Hell no! I was just wetting my fingers so I could turn the pages.”

A blonde goes on a hot date and ends up making out with the guy in his car. The guy asks if she would like to go in the backseat.
“No!” yells the blonde.
Things get even hotter, and the guy asks again.
“For the last time, no!” says the blonde.
Frustrated, the guy asks, “Well, why the hell not?”
The blonde says, “Because I wanna stay up here with you!”

A drunk leprechaun was staggering home with a pint of booze in his back pocket when he slipped and fell heavily.
Struggling to his feet, he felt something wet running down his leg.
“Please God” he implored, “let it be blood!”

Two young guys appear in court after being arrested for smoking dope.
The judge says, “You seem like nice young men, and I’d like to give you a second chance instead of jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to convince others of the evils of drug use. I’ll see you back in court Monday.”
On Monday, the judge asks the first guy, “How did you do over the weekend?”
“Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever.”
“Seventeen people? That’s wonderful. How did you do it? ”
“I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this: O o. Then I told them that the big circle is your brain before drugs and the small circle is your brain after drugs.”
“That’s admirable,” says the judge. Then he turns to the second guy. “And how did you do?”
“Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever.”
“Wow!” says the judge. “156 people! How did you manage to do that?”
“Well, I used a similar diagram,” the guy says. “I drew two circles like this: o O. Then I pointed to the little circle and said, ‘This is your asshole before prison… .'”

An elderly man in East Texas owned a large farm that happened to have a large pond.   It was just the right size for swimming, so he fixed it up with a picnic table, a dock, and shade trees. One evening the old farmer decided to tale a walk down to the pond and grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.
As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing. As he approached the pond, he saw it was a group of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.
Not wanting to startle the women he made them aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, “We’re not coming out until you leave!”
The old man smiled and said , “I didn’t come down here to watch you ladies swim naked.” as he held up five-gallon pail. “I’m just down here to feed the gator.”

Each of these ten is sufficient on its’ own to disprove the official story of what really occurred on September 11th, 2001. To date, none of these questions has been answered sensibly:

1. Why did our military fail to act?  How was it possible the Pentagon was attacked 1 hour and 20 minutes after the attacks began? Why was there no response from Andrews Air Force Base, just 10 miles away and home to Air National Guard units charged with defending the skies above the capital? How did Hani Hanjour, a man who failed as a Cessna pilot on his first flight in a Boeing, execute a difficult aerobatic maneuver to strike the Pentagon? Why did the attack strike the only side which was empty, thus minimizing casualties?

2. What about the war games? The multiple military war games planned long in advance and held on the morning of September 11th included scenarios of a domestic air crisis, a plane crashing into a government building, and a large-scale emergency in New York. If this was (as we have been told) only a series of coincidences, why did the official investigations avoid the issue? There is evidence that the war games created confusion as to whether the unfolding events were “real world or exercise.” Did the war games serve as the cover for the attacks?

3. Insider trading? Unknown speculators allegedly used foreknowledge of the Sept. 11th events to profiteer on many markets internationally – including but not limited to “put options” placed to short-sell the two airlines, WTC tenants, and WTC insurance companies in Chicago and London. President Bush promised the nation that those who profited from the attacks would be tracked down and face justice. They never were. The official story, that the securities were purchased “anonymously” is ridiculous. Just try to buy a half million dollars in stocks or securities some time, without identifying yourself, and see if it works!

4. The Black Boxes? Airplane black boxes were definitely found at Ground Zero, according to two first responders and an unnamed NTSB official, but they were “disappeared” and their existence is denied in The 9/11 Commission Report. What are they trying to hide?

5. Destroying the evidence? The rapid and illegal removal and scrapping of the WTC ruins at Ground Zero eliminated almost all of the structural steel indispensable to any investigation of the collapse mechanics. After the steel was gone, the official Twin Towers collapse investigation was left with almost no forensic evidence, and thus could only provide dubious computer models of ultimately unproven hypotheses. It failed to even test debris for the possibility of explosives.

6. What were Bush & Cheney hiding? Bush and Cheney pressured Congress into delaying the 9/11 investigation for months. They fought against the creation of an independent investigation for more than a year. Bush initially refused to testify, and finally agreed to appear informally, but only with Vice President Dick Cheney at his side, and not under oath.

7. The alleged masterminds? Khalid Sheikh Mohamed (KSM) and Ramzi Binalshibh, are reported to have been captured in 2002 and 2003, although one Pakistani newspaper said KSM was killed in an attempted capture. They have allegedly been held prisoner at undisclosed locations and their supposed testimonies, as provided in transcript form by the government, form much of the basis for The 9/11 Commission Report (although the Commission’s request to see them in person was denied). After holding them for years, why doesn’t the government produce these men and put them on trial for what they have allegedly admitted to?

8. Phony Phone Calls? The descriptions of the perpetrators, right down to the box cutters, comes from phone calls allegedly made from the planes to people on the ground. Some of these calls lasted as long as 13 minutes. At first, the official story was that numerous cell phone calls were made from the doomed planes. When researchers proved that such calls could not have been made from such heights, the official story was changed to say that passengers had used air-phones aboard the planes to make calls.  Then, American Airlines and United said that the 757 jetliners used in the attacks were not equipped with such phones. The official story has now changed again to only two calls, both on cell phones, both under 5,000 feet, and both lasting only a few seconds. One of the supposed recipients of a 9-11 call was President Bush’s lawyer, Solicitor General Ted Olson. Olson said his wife (CNN reporter Barbara Olson – who died in the attacks) had called him collect, something which could not have been done from a cell or sky-phone. He described two different conversations with her, in which she tells him, “Ted, my plane has been hijacked…“ and goes into great detail about the Arabic-looking hijackers. Olson gave a detailed statement that is apparently provably false. Why would he do such a thing? Why has no one produced a phone bill proving even one of these famous calls actually occurred?

9. Why did THAT building fall down? There were actually three buildings which collapsed on 9-11 at Ground Zero.
We all watched, horrified, as WTC #1 and #2 fell to Earth. But there was another large office building, WTC #7, which also collapsed. This 47-story building was never struck by a plane, although a small fire was reported extinguished on an upper floor, perhaps ignited by debris.  About twenty minutes before WTC #7 collapsed, the BBC Network went live to a reporter in New York who described WTC #7 collapsing, while it still stood in the background. What was behind this amazing feat of clairvoyance?

10. The War Was Already Planned? On the morning of 9-11, 25,000 British troops and the largest British Armada since the Falkland Islands War, part of Operation ‘Essential Harvest,’ were pre-positioned in Oman, the closest point on the Arabian Peninsula to Pakistan. At the same time two U.S. carrier battle groups had arrived on station in the Gulf of Arabia just off the Pakistani coast.  Any Navy vet will tell you that TWO carrier groups in the Indian Ocean is unheard of. It had never happened before.  At the same time, some 17,000 U.S. troops joined more than 23,000 NATO troops in Egypt for Operation ‘Bright Star.’ All of these forces were in place before the first plane hit the World Trade Center, then they all were used to invade Afghanistan and Iraq.  How could they have known ahead of time?

There is no innocent explanation for any of the ten issues described above.  There is no plausible scenario to explain even one of them, let alone all ten.  There are many other questions, for example, why are there no clear pictures of the Pentagon attack? The Pentagon was at the time equipped with hundreds of the most sophisticated cameras in the world.  And how did the buildings collapse exactly like controlled demolitions?  And how did the alleged hijackers get aboard the planes, when only two of them allegedly bought tickets? And why are half of the alleged hijackers still alive? And why were Israeli Mossad agents seen celebrating on a rooftop as they filmed and photographed the events from a New Jersey rooftop across the harbor from Manhattan? And why were the Bin Laden family allowed to leave the US without being questioned? And how did structural steel girders with asbestos coatings dissolve in flames caused by jet fuel, which burns at far too low of a temperature to melt steel?  Again, no good answers to any of these questions.

In view all of this evidence, the only reasonable conclusion is that our government lied to us about the most significant and eventful day in the history of this nation. It really was an “inside job” perpetrated by an entity capable of such an operation.  Only two such entities exist:  Mossad and the CIA.  Neither could have done it without the other being complicit.
Why did they lie, and what were the ultimate goals?  Those are questions that can only come out if we can indict, arrest, and try the criminals responsible.

If you get pulled over, what are your rights?

Courtesy of Police Chief Art Pinero, San Leon Police Department.

Mitt Romney and his wife, Ann Romney, have announced a new initiative to get poor inner-city youth interested in sports which proliferate in low-crime areas.  They believe that exposing “street kids” to such simple sports as squash, fencing, lawn tennis, or croquet might help them to develop better  citizenship.

The foundation is currently accepting contributions.

Galveston Police have issued 1,770 tickets and towed over 400 vehicles during the first week of paid parking along the Galveston Seawall.  At that rate, the fines and fees paid to the city by motorists and towing companies will add a much-needed $4.5 million to city revenues during the next year.

Most of the money generated by the parking plan is earmarked for increased safety and security along the Seawall.  It is hoped that the huge increase in funds will allow for the hiring of additional police officers and the purchase of unmanned aerial and underwater drones that will provide local police with full surveillance along the beaches.

“People like cops at the beach. They want to see a strong police presence there,” says Chet Porker, editor of the Police Gazette. “That’s why Baywatch and Miami Vice were so popular. Cops and the beach just go together. Most tourists are going to be very happy to see the new security measures here.”

Those new measures start at the top of the Causeway Bridge leading into Galveston.

At the apex of the bridge, a high resolution camera photographs the license plates of every vehicle entering and leaving the island. This information is instantly transmitted to a computer program which identifies the owner of the vehicle, whether the vehicles insurance and registration are up to date, whether there are any warrants or unpaid fines, and the complete arrest record of the presumed driver. Since the camera system went online in late June, 217 arrests have been made as a direct result of the bridge cameras.

City officials are thrilled with the results.

On Thursday, June 20th, it was reported that a reporter had died in a fiery crash in Los Angeles. The reporter was Michael Hastings, one of the greatest investigative journalists of modern times.
According to news reports, Hastings was speeding down a side street, ran a red light, and crashed head-on into a tree.  The late-model Mercedes he was driving exploded, according to witnesses who heard the blast, then came running outside to find the vehicle engulfed in a huge fireball.
There were no skid marks found at the accident scene.
That’s the news we got here in the USA, from all of the major networks and newspapers.
But that is not the story that is being told in other places around the globe. An intelligence report circulating in Moscow reportedly claims that the award-winning journalist was assassinated by a drone strike while he was desperately attempting to reach what he believed would be a safe haven at the Israeli Consulate in Los Angeles.  Eyewitness accounts report not one, but two speeding cars, leading to speculation that Hastings was being pursued by another vehicle.
Hastings was instrumental in destroying the careers of two of Americas top war leaders, Generals Stanley McChrystal and David Petraeus, along with earning the ire of former US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, whose top aide, Philippe Reines, told Hastings last September to “Fuck off” and “Have a good life” after being questioned about Clinton’s role in what is referred to as the Benghazi Attack which killed 4 Americans in Libya including US Ambassador J. Christopher Stevens.  Hastings 2010 Rolling Stone article “The Runaway General” is credited with being the impetus behind the downfall of General McChrystal, and his 2012 BuzzFeed News Service article “The Sins Of General David Petraeus” likewise helped in the savaging of General Petraeus, whom Hastings said had “seduced America and should never have been trusted by the American people.”
The Russian report says that Hastings was pursued by the drone, and that a Russian satellite tracked the drone from the time it lifted off at Camp Pendleton.  The report identifies the drone type as an unmanned Shadowhawk, manufactured by Vanguard for the US Navy.
Many residents of the neighborhood where the incident occurred were awakened by an explosion and have provided testimony which conflicts with the official story.  Although the media reported that Hastings’ vehicle was destroyed after it slammed into a palm tree, eyewitnesses and photos taken at the scene clearly indicate otherwise.
Photographs of the crash scene reveal that the car Hastings was in did not experience a high-speed crash. There was no major impact damage to the front of the car. The damage was mostly confined to the rear of the vehicle. The engine was blown out through the front of the car, landing over 100 feet away, which indicates that some type of explosion originated from the rear of the vehicle.
The only possible internal source of such an explosion would have been the gas tank, but there are two problems with that theory: First, gasoline could not under any circumstances have generated an explosion powerful enough to propel the engine such a distance. Second, photos released of the scene clearly show the gas tank lying on the ground near the car, fully intact.
At the time of his death, Hastings was busy investigating the Obama administration’s use of the NSA to spy on Americans telephone and internet communications.  He had reportedly been in contact with former CIA and NSA whistleblower analyst Edward Snowden, whom many consider the “most wanted man in America” for his releasing of top-secret documents detailing Obama’s growing police state and widespread use of warrantless wiretapping.
The significance of Hastings contact with Snowden lies in Obama’s being able to assassinate any American he so chooses without charges or trial, an authority which was in March confirmed by US Attorney General Eric Holder, who in a letter to the US Congress stated: “President Barack Obama has the legal authority to unleash deadly force – such as drone strikes – against Americans on U.S. soil without first putting them on trial.”
Only hours before his death, Hastings told attorney Jennifer Robinson that he was concerned that the FBI was investigating him and following him.  After the crash, the Los Angeles FBI office released a statement claiming that Hastings had not been under investigation.  This was quickly proven false when the Los Angeles County Medical Examiner announced that Hastings charred body had been identified using fingerprints supplied by the FBI.  Why would the FBI have the fingerprints of a man with no criminal record, unless he was the subject of an investigation?
Given the NSA leaks and the widespread surveillance of FOX News and the Associated Press, it would be surprising if Hastings’ regular coverage of the sleaze and criminality that suffuses American politics had not brought him under investigation and subject to regular surveillance.
Beginning with his coverage of the 2008 presidential primaries, Hastings earned a reputation for stepping on powerful toes. His article on that campaign for GQ called former New York mayor Rudy Giuliani a “maniac” who would “casually invoke violence and warfare.” Similarly, McCain’s campaign was based on the belief “that they can lie to our faces and we’ll swallow it.” Hillary’s campaign meanwhile employed “cunning racism,” according to Hastings.
The piece that he was most famous for was his 2010 profile of General McChrystal, who was then commander of NATO forces in Afghanistan. The article revealed the derision among top military officers toward the Obama administration which provided a catalyst for the shift of top command, in which McChrystal was replaced by General David Petraeus. General Petraeus then oversaw the intensification and widespread expansion of drone bombings in Afghanistan.
Hastings reported receiving death threats on a number of occasions, specifically mentioning that a staffer of General McChrystal had told him “We will hunt you down and kill you if we don‘t like what you write” during the time he was working on that story.
In an April 2012 article in Rolling Stone “The Rise of the Killer Drones,” Hastings reviewed the use of drones as a tool of extrajudicial assassination. In the article he notes the casual destruction of evidence, and reports that the majority of strikes are not based on targeting “known terrorists” but simply bombing anonymous people engaged in “suspicious behavior.”
One of his most recent articles dealt with a former CIA station chief in Algeria. “The Spy Who Cracked Up in the Cold” described the career of Andrew Warren who joined the CIA in 1997 and became deeply involved in torture in various countries across the Middle East and North Africa. Despite suffering from significant alcohol and drug abuse problems, Warren was appointed station chief in Algeria. He was removed two years later, based on charges of sexual assault.
His last article on BuzzFeed, “Why Democrats Love to Spy On Americans,” published on June 7, noted that the revelations of Glenn Greenwald and NSA whistleblower Snowden had exposed the party as an unscrupulous “gang of civil liberty opportunists” operating without principle.
At the time of his death, Hastings was also working on a story about Jill Kelley’s lawsuit against the FBI and Department of Defense. Kelley claims that those organizations leaked her identity as part of General Petraeus’ resignation as director of the CIA last year.
Those who would have a motive for killing Michael Hastings are confined to the government of the United States. He had no other enemies. Within the government, he was hated and feared by Republicans and Democrats alike, because he exposed the truth, wherever it led him.
Thomas Jefferson once said; “Were it left to me to decide whether we should have a government without newspapers, or newspapers without a government, I should not hesitate for a moment to prefer the latter.” Jefferson understood the role of the press in keeping our government honest. He knew that only a free press could prevent our government from eventually becoming abusive.
Michael Hastings was murdered while supporting that principle.  Now that you know, that’s one more person they will have to kill someday in a similar fashion.

GATOR