It pisses me off when… I hear some fucknut whining about gay people getting married, and the term “the sanctity of marriage” is used.
Yes, we can’t let homosexuals get married. But in all fifty states, it is legal for a murderer or a child molester to get married. Any fucked up crackhead can get married. Any variety of low life piece of shit can get hitched. But not if they’re gay, because we must protect the “sanctity” of this institution.
What in fuck is wrong with people? If this is an issue of sanctity, how about we first stop serial killers and baby rapers from getting married?
It pisses me off when… I am invited to attend a seminar. I jumped out of the rat race years ago, because I didn’t want to attend meetings with dickheads wearing suits. Now you want me to pay to get into some banquet room at a motel and listen to some bullshit spiel about the latest multi-level fuckjob scam?
I don’t care to hear about “wealth building” schemes or other methods devised to get my money out of my pockets.
Sadly, it is always a friend or relative who invites me to attend one of these scamfests.
One of the rules I live by: I refuse to attend any seminar, at any hotel, at any time.
It pisses me off when… Some clown wants to talk shit about my dog. Yes, I have a little lapdog.
And yes, Mr. Wannabe Tough Guy has a big tough scary guard dog. Does he think it makes him more of a man? Does he think those moronic little put-downs like “that’s not a real dog” or “my dog could eat that little rat for breakfast” will somehow assert his manliness?
Guess again. There’s a psychological phenomenon known as “compensation”, and people who brag about their dogs’ manliness are compensating for their own lack thereof.
If you’re one of these idiots, I’m going to let you in on a secret: No matter what you have heard, you will not impress the ladies by owning a dog whose schlong is bigger than yours. Your “bad-ass” dog does not make you any more of a man – any more than your big-ass truck or giant belt buckle does.
When I see a guy with a giant belt buckle, I like to go up and ask incredulously… “Excuse me Sir, Which wrestling federation are you the champion of?”
It pisses me off when… I hear some cat-lover talking about how much better cats are than dogs.
Cat owners may disagree, and cite all kinds of “evidence” that cats are actually smarter because of their instinctive talents despite a stubborn resistance to training, but if a human child can’t be trained, we call him “learning disabled.” We don’t say that he’s too aristocratic to accept instruction. Cat lovers, show me some seeing-eye guide cats, and then I’ll be impressed. Until then, dogs rule.
Besides, cats tend to carry toxoplasma gondii, and I’ve already got enough things to worry about without mind-altering parasites.
It pisses me off when… A grown man starts talking about the “men’s rights” movement. Traditionally men have been protectors and benefactors of the rest of society. Like the men who stayed behind on the Titanic, we know this sometimes meant we will get the short end of the stick. In fact, some of us are proud of it.
It is a notion called chivalry.
Today, what we have are millions of men who think the biggest problem with society is the loss of the white Christian male power structure. They are threatened by Muslims, feminists, blacks, atheists, gays, and any other group that threatens this supremacy.
So we have grown men like John Brainer and Glen Beck crying on TV and Oprah saying it’s okay for a man to cry.
If masculinity is really threatened, it is by these crybabies themselves. A feminist or atheist can’t stop you from being a man. We aren’t oppressed. We still control more of the wealth and jobs. So stop crying, you pussies!