Don’t fuck with the bar phone: Let me spell this out, since some people just don’t get it. The bar phone belongs to the BAR. It is not a community phone, it’s a business phone. And the bar staff is NOT your answering service.
I love when people call the bar to see if a customer’s there, and I ask who’s calling, and they give me a smartass reply like, “A person.” Oh, good one! Click.
They are going to keep calling back, and I’m going to keep hanging up on their ass. That’s because they shouldn’t be bothering the bar in the first place. They aren’t in here spending money, so they have no right to interrupt me from serving the people who are.
Was the bar nice enough to find who you’re looking for and put them on the phone for you? Big mistake on the bar’s part, because now you will expect it all the time.
Did the bartender let you make a call from the bar’s phone? Also not good, now you will expect to use it every time you’re there. That’s great how you’re tying up the phone when actual business calls may be trying to get through.
And every bartender has had to deal with a customer’s crazy spouse calling the bar over and over looking for them. If your man is ignoring his cell phone, guess what? That is your problem. Don’t expect us to give a fuck, we aren’t your secretaries. We have a job to do, and it doesn’t entail helping you badger one of our customers. If you just won’t leave the poor guy alone, you need to unglue your ass from the couch and go look for him yourself.
Oh, and I don’t blame him for avoiding you. I don’t even know you and I don’t like dealing with you either.
Abandoned drinks: You’re at the bar, doing your thing, and you leave your drink behind to go do whatever. Not a full drink, mind you, but a mostly empty drink that is by now mainly melted ice or an inch of flat beer. And it sits there. So your server, whose job is to keep the bar clean, picks it up. Then you go back to where you were, notice your drink is gone, and freak out. “You stole it! You stole my drink!” Yeah dude, I’m auctioning it on Ebay as we speak. Now you’re demanding another one, free of course. Sure, the “theft” of your millimeters of backwash really entitles you to a full free drink. If you still wanted it, why did you abandon it?
Since you must have every last droplet of your drink, how about you keep it with you, or finish that last little swallow before you wander off? Wow, what a concept.
Patience, Jackass: Usually the only time servers get to take a pause from the action is during their meal break. Most bars don’t have a break room, so they usually have to eat out in the bar area.
It doesn’t matter if the bar’s been dead for hours, once you sit down to eat, that’s when people come in.
When you’re in a bar and you see a server having their meal break, I have only one request: LEAVE THEM THE FUCK ALONE. This is the only 10-15 minutes they get. Please, let them have those few minutes they need to eat.
This is not the time to sit down beside them and start asking questions while their mouth is full. (Besides, doesn’t logic serve that if they wanted to hang with you during their break, they would’ve sat with you?)
Worst of all are people who watch you eat. This happens a lot, usually by bored men who are sitting alone. Just a little creepy, yes? And keep your nosy comments to yourself. All we ask is that you let us have our short meal break without harassment.
Thank you & have a nice day!
